30 September 2005

September

Again I appear to have been lazy and slack! It has taken me until 19th October to get round to producing my September diary entry – this is particularly bad as I concluded the August entry by saying I would no longer fall behind with my diary entries. The later I leave it the more it seems like a chore to write it. Now as I’m writing this I’m counting down the remaining diary entries and looking forward to finally finishing them January 2006! In the same breath I’m also looking forward to completing my Swear Box 2005, though I do fear that 365 days of repressed language usage is going to result in a swear binge in 2006. You have been warned!

So as to avoid not posting my swear diary late for the remaining 3 months I have decided to clearly mark, in my engagement diary, when I need to write each one (the last day of each month). My engagement diary is an absolute bible for me and unless something is written in it, it will undoubtedly be forgotten. For the last few months I have not been reminding myself to write my swear diary entries and at the end of the month it has always come as unpleasant, unexpected workload and has been left as a low priority.



Slip Of The Tongue...

The first swear word occurring in September, was actually the result of a slip of the tongue. I was attempting to say to perfectly harmless word ‘site’ as in ‘website’, but it mistakenly slipped out as ‘shite’. This is actually the second time this simple mistake has occurred during 2005. I do worry about these incidents and the way they may be perceived. They were both, I can assure you, innocent mistakes but the people who I was talking about at the time might not see it like that. I guess this is just another of the perils of posting these snippets of my day-to-day life to the internet.

Challenge Update...

The month of September again saw a lack of swearing with only six being uttered in total. This is despite agreeing to take on the ‘swear box challenge’ to reach 200 swears by the end of the year. The only way this is still possible is to swear considerably for the rest of October to bolster the total to 130 and then to produce 35 swears in both November and December. If this happens it will mean that November and December will be the highest output months, second only to the month of January – we shall have to see if this is possible…

Technical Problems...

At the same time as wanting to produce lots of swears, to make the project more interesting, I am also, from a technical point of view, worried that this may cause problems. The Swear Box itself is made using the programme Macromedia Flash. The round about way that I have constructed it means that each individual swear word requires three ‘symbols’ (a button, inside a movie clip, inside another movie clip with the random motion attached). 200 swear words would mean that the Flash movie would contain a massive 600 ‘symbols’. I have noticed over the last few months that the Swear Box file has begun to run more slowly, as more and more swears have been added. The real worry is that one day it will just overload and stop working altogether. Disaster! Being slightly clueless when it comes to the ins-and-outs of Flash, the best I can do is carry on as normal and hope for the best…

Parallel Universes...

In September, on many occasions, I thought about swearing just for the fun of it and to spice things up a little, but I didn’t ever go through with it. The Swear Box project has made me realise that there is a million miles between what is going on in your head and what you utter to others. They are almost two parallel universes – it is possible to be very angry in one and not to verbalise it in the other. What you say is never what you really want to say or what you really mean. I’m not happy about the way my mind is restrained and manipulated (especially whilst doing the Swear Box project). From now on I am going to only try to swear when I am angry or excited (when you normally would), but to make sure that I do actually verbalise myself instead of holding back.

Not Defined But Still Offensive...

Having said that, I do think that my language is beginning to evolve as a result of not using certain words, but still wanting to express my emotions. I started to notice in September that I am using certain words and phrases more frequently. Words which are not listed in the defined swear words, but which I feel can still sound quite offensive. My favourite of these is used for insulting another person when they irritate you or do something stupid. ‘You damn chief!’ is said in a harsh tone, followed by a kiss of the teeth, which can also be quite a powerful gesture.

Swear signals also come in very handy for sharing your dismay with your fellow human beings. A quick flick of the ‘V’ sign can be very satisfying, whether it’s to someone’s back or their face. Another good (if slightly affectionate) term of offence, which I often find myself using is ‘You little turd!’ – stepped into my day-to-day vocabulary to replace my old favourite ‘You little shit!’. Something else which I say quite often these days, which I also think sounds quite rude if the term ‘to slag off’. They were ‘slagging off’ so-and-so, I was ‘slagging off’ her and such-and-such. Come to think of it ‘slag’ on its own could also be quite a handy term of offence – I must remember that in the future!

October Swear Diary >